Something that creeps me out
There’s something that creeps me out, and you know what it is?
Sleep.
More specifically, that tiny bit of time just before you fall unconscious.
You see, before you fall asleep your memory processing shuts down, which is why even though you’ve gone to sleep thousands of times in your life, you never actually remember the moment it happens.
This memory loss in fact extends a little bit before when you actually fall asleep. So why does this creep me out?
Sometimes I’ll be lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep and thinking about things, and as I get closer and closer to falling asleep, I suddenly realise something.
If I’ve entered the timeframe where my memory has shut down, then I won’t remember anything I’m currently thinking about. Effectively, the person who I am for that moment won’t be remembered, and will effectively “die” as soon as I fall asleep.
This knowledge somehow awakens some deep seated survival instinct, and I’m suddenly wide awake. It’s a strange reaction. Like that person who I am for that small moment doesn’t want to disappear.
So that’s why sleeping creeps me out: in order to do it, you have to effectively let a tiny part of yourself die every night.
You may think I’m a bit silly, but I bet a few people will be lying awake in bed a bit later than usual tonight.
>This knowledge somehow awakens some deep seated survival instinct, and I’m suddenly wide awake.
HOLY SHIT, I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THAT WAY!
Well, okay, I didn’t think it through as thoroughly as you did, but I have the same sort of sensation. I will suddenly become super aware of the fact that I’m falling asleep and I’ll feel my mind start to get groggy and slow, like it’s being sucked into the void of sleep, and BAM! A rush of adrenaline and I’ll be wide awake and uncomfortable.
If you focus too much on how it feels to fall asleep I’ve found it makes it incredibly difficult to do so. :/
What you said doesn’t really bother me very much, though. Not remembering what I thought right before I fell asleep is okay with me. What does bother me is the potential of never waking up again, like so many others who died in their sleep. Ughhhh.