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Earth is cool and all, what with its dirt and plants and life and whatnot, but I think it’s time for us to grow up. We’ve been here for a couple million years, it’s probably time we moved out and got our own place. I mean, isn’t it a little embarassing to still be living at home at this age? We need to stop depending on mother nature and leeching her hard-earned resources. She’s old now, let her relax in her retirement and enjoy some peace and quiet. It’s bad enough already that we still make her clean up after us all the time.

Don't worry, mom will get that

Now, I know this means we would actually have to get our shit together and stop fighting amonst ourselves, but I think we could do it. We could always start again once we are off the planet and in our giant inter-galactic spaceship. We could even have space wars then. Imagine how cool and gritty that would be! Think lasers! Pew pew!

And you know, even if we don’t want to go that far right away, we could at least visit our uncle on mars for a while. I know he’s terrible at decorating, and the atmosphere is a little thin at best, but I’m sure we could manage. We’ve been saying that we’re going to visit him for a while too, so we should probably follow through.

The tea is getting cold

It’s not just that it’s a little bit sad we haven’t left the nest yet, either. There’s also the fact that it’s dangerous to stay here, what with all these rocks that are flying around in space, just waiting to smash into us. That’s how the dinosaurs died, you know. Are you saying you’re as dumb as a dinosaur? Then get your ass on the moon. Pronto.

… Well, actually the moon probably isn’t much better. But it would be nice to be in something more mobile than a 5.9742 × 10²⁴ kilograms floating sphere (it’s not technically a sphere, but close enough).

We need to build a giant space station, like a death star, but without the big gun.

Actually, the big gun was good. Let's keep the big gun

Make it happen people.

So, my wisdom teeth are coming in. Rather irritating. Dentist says they don’t have to come out, though. Unfortunately, this also makes accusations of me having a big mouth professionally verified.

I was wondering earlier why we even have wisdom teeth if most of the time they have to come out. Then I realised that back when evolution was our main form of advancement it was probably a little more rare to still have all your teeth at 18. A few more would be a rather welcome addition.

Then I wondered about the biological “wiring” it would take to make four extra teeth pop up at the gates of twenty. What controls it? What stops it? Why four? This was of course followed by momentary awe at how complicated and retarded we are. Random order where there should be chaos. We are the picture of Jesus on the cosmic toast that is the galaxy.

This was actually made on purpose, which seems like a bad idea. You have to eat it, throw it out, or let it rot now. All of which seem like they might get you a little closer to hell.

Maybe that’s a little self-centered if there are aliens, but I guess I’ll risk sounding conceited. I’ll just delete this post if aliens come. Or maybe they can be the picture of the guy we didn’t know was a messiah.

Anyway, I’ve been really busy lately. What with an 8 and a half hour work day, drawing, writing, and playing video games, I just don’t have much time for other things anymore. Like sleep and eating decently. I think my grammar has suffered too.

Oh well, have a nice day, and thanks for reading.